Sunday, March 11, 2007

First Date Top Five

TOP FIVE Things not to DO or SAY on a online first date (friendship is the goal here):

5. "I think I'm cute; do you?" - If your date is attracted to you, he/she will let you know. There is no need to fish for compliments or approval...especially IMMEDIATELY after saying hello.
4. Say the phrase, "You Know" at least 300 times during a 2.5 hour conversation. Most people use this phrase as a filler. However, after the 25th time; it's just annoying. Maybe he was nervous.
3. Force your date to drink alcohol - "I'll have an O'doul's, I mean Budweiser. What about you? I'll order you one."
2. "So, where do you see THIS going? I mean US. Is there a future?" Hmmm...this is our first date. Right now, I see us parting with a friendly handshake and/or hug.

And the NUMBER ONE thing not to say or do on an online first date where friendship is the goal:

"I've slept [had sex] with eight people in my life. How about you? Have you had an AIDS test?"- Excuse me?! WTF, are you serious? I'm sure he didn't really expect me to answer that question, so I changed the subject.

Yes, I went on a date and all the above happened to me in ONE night. This was one of the most challenging dates I've experienced in a while. Challenging because of the flow of conversation and the information I was told. This was a classic case of spilling everything all at once. I'm not saying that things shouldn't be shared, but information overload can work against you. I'm a believer in providing information in increments AND at appropriate times and conversations.

Ok...let me know your thoughts.

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

Online Dating: Does it work?

Whoa! That's a loaded question. And you're sure to get many different answers. So, here goes mine...The simple answer to the question above is YES, but only to a certain point. It depends on what you are looking for and how much time and energy you are willing to devote to developing a friendship/relationship. My history with success has been varied. I have been on several dates with men that I've met online. There were good dates (a few) and not so good dates (many more). I could wax poetic about all the things I've endured on 'online first dates.' As I jog my memory, I recall the caucasian CPA with the salt & pepper AFRO. Then there was the Totally Awesome Guy Who was Shorter than Me; and, who can forget the Marathon Man. I will let your imagination wander on how these guys got their pseudo nicknames.

In closing, I must admit that online dating can be fun. However, the most important thing is to approach it with a clear understanding of what you realistically hope to get out of it. Is it a friend in your head (someone you chat with via e-mail and/or IM); an IRL (in real life) friend; or something fun and playful with no strings attached?

Remember, online dating takes time and energy. So, turn on your monitor, grab your iPod and start making friends, or whatever it is you're seeking, through your favorite online dating site.

an Online Dating Veteran

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